The Great Dwarven Experiment 2: WTF is a Flame Cannon?!?

Hey gang, I'm back with more Dwarf bashing goodness!

I'm not entirely sure what this is, but I think I'd pay money to watch it.

Ok no, its not cool to bash Dwarfs, they are people too.... short, fat, usually hairy people who smell bad but still people.

Following on from Part 1, I had asked for a fun random 2000pt list for Metalcon. Greg, the only person I know stupid enough to own a Dwarf army, is apparently known for some outside the box Dwarf armies and well... thats what I got! (Greg wisely didn't give me a gunline, as I'd have thrown his models at walls and him for entertainment)

So without further ado, here it is:

Daemonslayer
Rune of Flight, Rune of Cleaving, Rune of Might

RAAAR, Angry Naked Dwarf!!!! Now for those who don't know what those runes do, (ie everyone not a Dwarf player...) Rune of Flight, means I can throw his Axe at someone within 12". Might is double S (I think) vs T5 or greater, so thats one S10 hit to any monsters withing 12"! Woot! Won't they be hurting before they eat his face...

Daemonslayer
2 Runes of Cleaving, Rune of Fire

RAAAR, Second Angry Naked Dwarf!!!!This dude gets +2 S and Flaming Attacks to kill Regen monsters.
I guess the idea here is to tag team them at stuff and hopefully kill it before it kills them both?

Thane
Master Rune of Challenge, Master Rune of Swiftness

I assume this is how I get the DaemonSlayers in a position to actually charge monsters that would otherwise laugh hysterically and then fly away to kill other stuff...

Thane
BSB, Strolla'z Rune, Rune of Slowness

Strolla'z says, "Raaarr, I'm comin' at ya, bro!" Slowness says, "But don't come at me please, I'm scared!!!" Scizophrenia Dwarf coming at ya!

15 Dwarf Warriors w/ GWs
15 Dwarf Warriors w/ GWs

23 Longbeards w/ HW&S
Full Command

10 Thunderers

MSU Dwarfs ftw! Take your big ass hordes and GET OUT!!!

19 Slayers
Muso, Standard

19 Slayers
Muso, Standard

More Angry Dwarfs!!!! I'm pretty sure I have absolutely no idea what these clowns will do other than die but Hey, they'll look very Ginger while they do it, and that's all that counts, right? Alternatively I have an idea that rhymes with Ronga, noone complains about that anymore, do they?

And last but not least:
Flame Cannon

I'm pretty sure this is a typo, and its actually just a Cannon. "Flame" and the Space Bar being fairly close together on a keyboard and all... However, if this actually correct and not a typo, I'm gonna need all the combined experience of you Dwarf players to tell me how best to use it, thanks. I know you all take two to every tournament so it must be good, right? RIGHT????

Well there you have it, a whole lot of naked, low Initiative Infantry in a game that clearly favours them. I honestly expect I don't even have to show up to take the 20s. Mainly because my Opponents will concede when they see the draw, nothing to do with the list at all... This is about right, fellow Dwarf players?

Look, there's a model to commemorate what will never, ever, ever happen in a game of Warhammer...

But more seriously, I think I have a few ideas for how best to use them, and having to seriously put my brain to work was kinda the idea of using someone else's army for a day so I definitely got that!

If all else fails, there is always Alcohol...

The Great Dwarven Experiment

Or possibly better titled "How I Killed my own Hobby"

Time will tell...

Why can't all Dwarfs be as entertaining as this cheery little fellow?

Many of you will know I am not the greatest lover of those crude hairy bastards known as Dwarfs. In fact, truth to tell, the list of my least enjoyable games of Warhammer ever is topped predominately by games against Dwarfs. They don't move, they don't cast spells, frankly they don't even do combat very well... All they can do half decent is sit immobile in castle formation and shoot you, and from my point of view that's about as much fun as sticking a knife in your testicles.

Dwarven players are a strange breed. They, much like the Dwarfs they love, stubbornly refuse to admit they are wrong and play them forever. I can't decide whether I should pity them or hate them. They sit in their corners doing nothing but roll dice and watch the other guy take off their models, or they don't and they take off all their own models. I will never understand what they get out of this, but apparently its enough to satisfy hobby needs until the end of time (A true Dwarf player will literally play them until the day they die, most likely due to the other player hitting them with a chair ...)

"But we do other stuff too!" They cry, and hide behind their ambushing lists and Strollaz rune.

Don't believe this. Its merely a Dwarven plot to give themselves excuses while they shoot your toys off. Once a year, the Dwarven High Council forces one of their players to suffer the agony of leaving their deployment zone for a weekend. Once this suffering has been completed, the Dwarf player is allowed to join the Council and taught more advanced ways to ruin their opponents hobby. (Sometimes you may find a Dwarf player that actually enjoys leaving the deployment zone on a regular basis, but these players are outcasts of Dwarven society, shunned and beaten, and not to compared to their brethren.).

Dwarven society casts out their Gingers. At least they got one thing right...

So whats the point of this diatribe, you ask?

Well, with Axemaster coming up, I have been painting furiously in an effort to maybe once, just once, have a fully painted army. In this respect, half my models are scattered across my Painting table, and I'd rather leave them there. I have also been playing High Elves for over a year solid, and would like a short break, variety being the spice of life and all.

So, as many will say, I stupidly asked Greg and Dave if they could lend and write me a list for Metalcon, a one day 2000pt tournament at Hampton in a couple of weeks. I just wanted a bit of fun and something completely different. After briefly entertaining the idea of letting me ruin 4 innocent wargamer's hobbies with an all Elven Wood Elf army (which I'm pretty sure I could make never see combat :-)), they decided to instead ruin four innocent wargamer's hobbies, AND my own...

And so in two weeks I shall be immersing myself into this strange phenomena they call Dwarven culture by pushing standing some Dwarfs at my opponents, while I try not kill myself from boredom.

Can I survive? Can I learn anything other than how to moan about how Cannons aren't so bad?

Lets find out!

List to come soon...